Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Wronged Right Choice & Believe in Me, Revised

I've started a writing project, one that I would be honored to show to you all. I have a notebook where I have recently begun writing a few of my own philosophies and ideas in, things that present themselves to my mind, wander around a bit, and get lost. Hopefully writing them down will act as a memory aid while giving them more substance and meaning. Are they groundbreaking revelations to rock what we know and how we know it? No, but they do give a little peek into the deeper aspects of my thoughts. The following post is an excerpt from one of the pages. After that, I have included "Believe in Me", an earlier post that has been edited. It now expresses what I wanted it to express a bit clearer, even though there were only a few adjustments. Hope you enjoy either one. If you're of the mind, then let me know what you think.

The Wronged Right Choice:

Have you ever felt that something was the right choice, but wished that it wasn't?
Some of those choices are simply not the ones we want to make. We try and we strive to find another way, another choice, but in the end...

Sad, really, that our fragile minds should lead us so astray. There are always so many paths we can choose, but inexplicably we have this inner ideology of what is right. How heavenly it would be to rebel against that haunt; drop responsibility, consequence, and fear of reactions to our choice. Sometimes even the wish of no consequence for one choice in life is a fleeting dream we cannot seem to pin.

Unequivocally frustrating at times, our minds and hearts seem to fight each other, as if some battle of all that is holy vs. all that is wicked is being waged in our bodies. How can we calm something so tumultuous as emotion? How can we tether down something as evanescent and fleeting as the heart's motivational processing?

We continue down our loathed path, certain of success and assured of our wisdom in making said choice, but in all of our understanding of divine guidance and flawless reasoning, emotion tears at the strands of our soul, causing bitter hatred for the knowledge of the rightness of the choice made. With each wrench of our heart, and grimace of pain in our beings, we fail and wrong our right choice. Nevertheless, we faithfully continue down our righteous course, never swerving neither left nor right, ever determined to stay the path.

If only the heart would agree with the mind. How truly treacherous the heart can be.


Believe in Me-Revised 

As the rain poured down, he sat, feeling more and more alone. The valley he was in served as a memorial to things now long past, far from the reach of any mortal man. Only a few short moments had past since he first arrived before he could bear no longer, and he broke. Trembling violently on his knees, he held his face in his hands as he sobbed heavily.
Like a velvet blanket of comfort and hope for things past, he heard a familiar voice softly speak.
"What are you doing in a place like this? Weren't you supposed to touch the sky?" 

The rain nearly drowned the voice out. They were both soaked through, but neither seemed to notice.
"I can't...I can't do this!"  He cried,  "Its no use..."
The ground was soggy beneath the two, and his knees sunk into the earth.
"No use?" The man asked.
"They've got it all wrong," he screamed, looking up at him, "I'm not able to do what you can! I'm not you! You have to do it...I just want to go back, to go home!"

"Snap out of it!" Yelled the man, punching him square in the face with force. He fell back on the ground, water and mud splashing in his face.
Motionless, he stared up at the man..."Brother? What was that for?" The noise of the rain seemed to dissipate when his smiling brother replied in a quiet and confident voice: "Listen. When you've lost your way, and you have lost hope, don't believe in yourself. Believe in me, who believes in you."

He hesitated, and then asked: "What do you mean?"

His brother picked him up and stood him on his feet, wiping mud off his face. Pointing at his little brother's heart, he told him: "Whether it's called laughable or unreasonable, this is the path you chose. If there is a wall in the way, you will break it down. If there is no path ahead, you will carve one with your own hands. Like a fire in your heart, and power in your hands, everlasting and unbreakable. Forget the impossible, and throw away reason. That is who you will be. So when you're weak, when you're broken, when you've lost the will to believe in yourself, then believe in me, who believes in you."
His brother's eyes shined with confidence and power, stirring something deep inside him, giving him a hope he thought had long past.

There was silence now. His crying stopped, and his body was no longer trembling. The rain began to die down, as blades of sunlight slowly pierced the gloom and dreary clouds. The smile he saw so often in his brother's face slowly slid across his own. "Alright, brother. I understand."
His brother replied with his usual confidence, grabbed his shoulder, and said: "Touch the sky, little brother."
As he said those words, he was gone. Standing alone again, he looked around him at the field and foothills that surrounded him as the sun shed more and more of its golden silk across the landscape. Far in the distance, the mountains loomed like monsters, behemoths of ancient times. The man that left was seen reflected in the man that now stood alone, as he faced the trials that lay ahead. Started on his path again, the memorial to his brother was left behind now.  "Thank you." He said aloud.

"I'll follow this path, even if it proves to be my grave. I'll touch the sky."



  1. wow Trevor..... i am completely blown away every time by your creativity and mental images that you paint by your writing! its funny how our minds work....the ability to explain and understand our life completely yet still completely confused........ i hope ur doin good! miss ya bro!

  2. Zech, thanks for the comment! Honestly, it takes so long to get anything down on paper (or typed out), that it would possibly change your opinion of my writing, lol. Anyways, glad you're reading, and I miss you to!

  3. Thank you for sharing such deep thoughts with us. I don't know how long ago this conflict with a choice was written down, or if you're facing it now, but although the right choice not often easy to make for many reasons, as you know, it will always be for the better. I happen to know a very good friend of your's who will never leave you, even when it seems hard to find him in the dark. These kinds of things are always easier said than done, especially coming from someone like me, but as hard as it can be, I know you are a strong person, because you have the best support available! It's rarely fair and who of us comes out of this world unscathed? I am confident that you can overcome the treacherous heart that always fights against reason, because you are a conquerer! がんばってね!

  4. P.S. The question in the afore mentioned comment was not intended in any way negatively, but rather in assurance that you are not alone in your fight. We're here supporting as well. To the best of our imperfectly crazy ability.